Rick Perry and the Campaign Ad of Destiny

Rick Perry released this new campaign ad yesterday:

   After watching an ad like this a person really just has to sit back and marvel for a moment.  I have seen many political ads in my life, but I have seen very few that are this intense and say this much nothing. Out of two minutes, I was able to glean three bits of information.

1. Presiden Obama is a zero. There were several helpful, sometimes subliminal, images with the word "zero" in them. Like this one...

and this one...  

And in case those visual aids weren't enough, at 0:30 there is a very helpful, ominous, disembodied voice which says "President Zero." 

The viewer is then bombarded with the statistic that "One in six Americans is living in poverty":

And to put it a different way:

And just in case you were unaware of the implications of one in six people living in poverty, they're bad:

So now we know that's bad.

From this section we've established one very clear fact: President Obama equals zero. Got it.  

2. In 2012...something about horses.

Upon first viewing, I immediately thought, "Oh, Rick Perry is strong and rugged, like a horse running through a murky river. Bingo." But then I rethought.  Perhaps what I was supposed to glean was that Rick Perry was strong and rugged like the cowboy riding the horse through the river.  However, I then realized that without the handy youtube.com video title telling me this was an ad for Rick Perry, at this point, I would still have no idea what this was about.  There is literally no mention of Rick Perry, elections, campaigns, or Republicans by this point in the video.  For all I know after 45 seconds of this video, this is an ad for a new zombie movie. It even has the classic "swings-swinging-ominously-in-the-wind" shot:

So I guess without the unfair advantage of the video title, I would have not been able to make any conclusions about the horses.  Therefore, I must strike this from the list of things I learned from this video. 

3.  2. Rick Perry Is the WORLD'S LAST HOPE.  

This inspiring image comes right after Rick Perry says something about America being the WORLD'S LAST HOPE. And since we, as viewers, now know that this video is about Rick Perry, this flag imagery is so much more powerful:

AMERICA

PATRIOTISM

STOICISM

RICK PERRY AND AMERICA

Obviously, RICK PERRY IS AMERICA. Therefore, RICK PERRY IS THE WORLD'S LAST HOPE.

Two solid minutes of video and I was only able to learn two things. Who made this?

That would be Mr. Lucas Baiao, the same man behind this ad for Tim Pawlenty, which is also incredibly intense while saying absolutely nothing. He's like the Michael Bay of political ads.

There are very few things in the world I find as absurd as campaign ads. I'm used to them pandering to the lowest common denominator: they're angry, manipulate statistics, play to peoples' fear, and pick the most ridiculous photos of politicians possible.  But this new brand of theatrical, over-the-top, movie trailer-esque ad is just way too much for me.  While watching this, I kept thinking of the trailer for the movie 2012. 

The similarities are striking.  Biblical references:

An embattled black president:

And a force of nature overtaking the White House:

                                           

In one video the force of nature is a tidal wave, in the other it's Rick Perry; same thing, right? 

WRONG.

Dear political campaigns, please tell me things in your ads. Please.

Cait

Not your mother's waffles...

Waffle:

1. Vacillate, flip-flop, yo-yo
2. Empty or pretentious words: Tripe

3. Politicians on a daily basis.
(Miriam-Webster Dictionary with additions from the author)

It's hard being a political junkie.  It's very much like watching a car crash: you desperately want to look away but you just can't--even though it's making your stomach hurt--and you sort of feel like crying--and you're suddenly questioning your humanity and the humanity of all those around you.

So after years of trying to contain these feelings of despair and desperation, I have discovered the only way to continue fully participating in our nation's political system without completely losing my faith in everything. I have to mock it mercilessly.

In preparation for beginning to publish my own political humor blog I took to the internet to get a better feel for the territory.  What I learned was that most of today's political humor falls into two, often overlapping, categories: painfully, obviously partisan and downright cruel.

Therefore my goal in this blog is two-fold:
1. Catharsis.  Honestly, I don't think I can watch another political debate without making jokes about it and not pull my hair out.  (It's called a debate for a reason Mr. Gingrich. You're actually supposed to argue. That's the point.)
2. To provide a moderate, satirical voice out there for everyone who thinks that maybe, just maybe, stupidity knows no political boundaries.

I must admit that, come election time, I vote pretty solidly Democratic.  Yet while I may agree with many liberal ideals, politicians are politicians and therefore, quite stupid a lot of the time.

In conclusion, I hope this blog is going to help me not become insane as well as maybe keeping a few other people from going insane.  It might even be kind of fun. Maybe you'll laugh. We can only hope.

New posts will be published every Monday at the very least. 


Since this blog is very much a work in progress I welcome suggestions or tips! Feel free to submit any comments or questions about the content and format.


Cait


UPCOMING STORIES:
Michelle Bachmann vows that as president she will not to care about you or anyone else!